It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
