if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
