I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just found a bag of teeth...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
last night I used snow as a chaser
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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