What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
