It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
