I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I still have a little drunk in my system
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
