Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
