At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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