it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
