my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize