I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
