in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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