he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
