When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
