I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
found the other keg... it's in the tree
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
