How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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