wakey wakey hands off snakey
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
