I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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