that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I looked at my own cervix.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
