wrigley field is MILF paradise
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
