I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
