yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize