i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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