I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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