My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize