My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
