she was so not down for the gang bang
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
