I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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