That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
