I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
