Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
