I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
