I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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