Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize