those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
