I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
