I will die if light touches me.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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