I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
