He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
