I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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