I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
