Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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