There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
sarcasm needs its own font
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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