Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I want her autograph on my taint
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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