porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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