I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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