eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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