He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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