So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
