I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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