and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize