The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
