Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
