I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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