are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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