We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
