i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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