It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
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