I'm lost and stupid without you.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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